Bradbury Township
Mille Lacs County, Minnesota
Mille Lacs News
Since 4/18/07
The Church Page
Uncensored!
as it should be.
Blessings
by Hannabelle
Mille Lacs News Staff Writer
It's the PBR Finals in Las Vegas this week, an event which keeps my family of bull-riding fans glued to the TV. Not only do we cheer on our favorite bulls, boo our least-favorite cowboys, make predictions on who will ride and who will get "throwed", and try to guess the scores of those who make the 8 seconds before the judges make it official, in our family we also judge the praying techniques of the demonstrative Christians.
"I give Kody Lohstroh an 82. He kneeled well but there was no style when he pointed at Jesus in the sky." We call pointing to the sky 'giving God the finger'.
"Have you noticed that Mike Lee doesn't pray as good when he gets throwed? I only give him an 80 and a half. He didn't put in the effort."
"Oops. That cowboy was a little slow in acknowledging Jesus, but after all, he just broke his femur on the git off. Do you think he'll get the option of a repray?"
Not only do we rate them, we rank them. We all agree that when it comes to thanking the Lord for helping him stick to the bull or not getting killed on the 'git off', nobody can hold a candle to Wiley Peterson. However, we doubt the sincerity of that little red-headed Christian or the one who punches walls when he doesn't make the whistle.
Does our little game sound a bit blasphemous to you? Does it offend you? We enjoy it. This "Who Will Be God's Favorite Tonight?" contest came about because we were disgusted by some of these bullriders' public (televised) display of their religiosity. In my day, religion was a personal and private matter, not a competition to see who can appear to have an 'in' with God. I have more regard for those bullriders who do their praying behind the chutes, unaware that the cameras have caught them in the act.
One night, we watched a special tribute to Lee Aitkin. We watched film footage of this talented young bullrider riding one bull after another. The last shot of the buck-master showed him looking up, pointing to the sky, and we could read his lips saying "Thank you Jesus". Lee Aitkin's career ended awhile back - when tragically, Lee fell off and his bucking bull's massive hoof landed on Lee's head, nearly killing him. He's now not quite a vegetable, but fairly close... He's working on his ABC's. It really is sad.
Justin McKee, the PBR announcer attributes Lee's very survival to all of the prayers offered up to Jesus by the fans. Jesus heard them and their prayers were answered. Lee lived. Charity benefits recently succeeded in raising well over a hundred thousand dollars, enough money so Lee and his family be o.k. financially for quite some time. That's a good thing. The PBR announcers all agreed that Lee Aitkin is not only lucky to be alive, he is "blessed"!
Now I ask you: If Jesus spends his valuable time attending Professional Bull Riders events, picking who will ride tonight, who will fall; who will win the money, who will dislocate a shoulder; and if Jesus went to the trouble to keep Lee Aitkin alive after this horrific injury occurred, why didn't Jesus intervene and stop that bull from stepping on poor Lee's head in the first place? Now I can see where THAT might be considered a blessing...
A friend of mine told me about an acquaintance of hers who is a devout Evangelical Christian. To my knowledge, she isn't a bullriding enthusiast, but she claims to have a close relationship with Jesus. In fact, when she goes grocery shopping, Jesus takes time out of his busy schedule to tag along with her. She asks Jesus which melon is the best, and Jesus personally helps her make the selection.
"Oooooh! Dustin Hall just took a nasty fall. I think the bull stepped on him! Ouch!"
"Yeah. All that good praying gone to waste. Where's Jesus when you need him?"
"I dunno. Probably out shopping for melons."
But wait! Wiley Peterson thanked the Lord for picking him a bunch of good bulls, giving the "Glory to God" in his PBR win. So He couldn't be picking melons AND bulls at the same time could He? Well, maybe He can. After all, He's God. Who knows, maybe one of these days He'll take the time to do something about Global Warming or the War in Iraq. When He's not attending a PBR event or shopping with Miss Honeydew, that is.
In today's society, true spirituality seems to have been replaced with an artificial dependence upon a make-believe invisible friend whose sole (not soul) purpose is to serve the individual. If something bad happens - like some crazed bull goes off and steps on your head while you're trying to ride him, it is either bad luck or your own fault. If something good happens - like you make the whistle or choose the perfect melon, you give credit to Jesus, who is always looking out for you because after all - you're his Number One.
One of the issues in the War between the Neighborhood and Onamia is indeed about religion. At the Mille Lacs News, we think this subject is both interesting and timely, considering what is happening in our country on the larger scale.
That said,
Welcome to the Church Page
Using God for your own selfish purposes - the ultimate sin?
This homosexual pedophile priest was accused of sexually abusing 130 children. He was killed in prison
President Bush's Evangelical pal, who despite preaching the evils of homosexuality, used both drugs and the services of male prostitutes.
After tearfully admitting on national television that he did have sex with that woman, Swaggert publicly begged Jesus' (and his donors') for forgiveness.
Who can forget Jim and Tammy Faye and their solid gold faucets, paid for by gullible believers in the PTL club, who sent them money to help people? After a highly publicized sex scandal caused his resignation, Jim served prison time for fraud. Tammy continued to do "the Lord's work" until she recently died of cancer.
A little wacko in Waco, this self-proclaimed profit not only preached Christ's teachings to his congregation of Branch Davidians, but also had sex with their children. To protect their large stockpile of weapons, he and his followers went to war against the ATF, ending in a massacre which will forever taint the history of America.
Nearly a thousand people of his church, the People's Temple literally 'drank the Kool-aid' at Jonestown in Guyana. If they refused to commit suicide, they were murdered.
Another religious inspired mass suicide was ordered by this leader so that the members of his church could grab the tail of the comet which would carry them to Heaven's Gate. They didn't drink the Kool-aid. They ate the poison pudding.
Check out the Zoning Guy Mickey Carter at Hannabelle's Hall of Shame #2